Mothers are the Hardest to let go

Last week was tough. The night after news of her mom, we went to the wake and for the first time in the 13years I've known her, Ive never seen her in that state. She was all skin and bones, her face had obvious wrinkles from the extreme loss of weight. I'm tearing even as I type these words. The moment I saw her, I almost cried...I hugged her and held her hands thinking this is my friend and I barely recognize her.

What emotional torture she mustve been through and right there it seemed as if she's suddenly so many more years my senior. These experiences kinda brought her to another plane in life and what words can you offer to someone who's walked a path you've never set foot on?

As friends who's been hanging around different stages of our lives, I wanted to protect her and hope to take away some of the hurt she's made to go through.

There are words that came out from her which I'll never forget. She speaks of the intense 3 hour talk she had with her mom...well, it's just her doing the talking while her mom drifts in and out of drugged consciousness. She tells her mom how much she loves her and to forgive her for all the hurtful things she'd said and thanking her for being her mom. These 3 hours were simply saying goodbye to her mom. This would be closure for them. Her mom did not open her eyes but trace knew she heard cos tears rolled down her mom's cheeks.

Finally its this sms I received from her saying how she couldnt stop crying and everything reminded her of mom. She cant believe mom's not coming back and she really misses her..

Have you ever missed someone so much, you dont wish to recover from it cos you fear it will make you forget them? Though it hurts viciously, you hang on not wishing to let it go and you rather go on hurting and hurting and hurting..

Oct 22nd 2006 Sunday 9:40am
Trxcx: Just to let you know..my mum is dying at d hospital now..dun ve 2 come 2 visit..really..I'll let u know when she pass away.

I woke up to that msg and could nv get back to sleep again. I asked when she thinks it will be...no reply

Oct 23rd 2006 Monday 10:30am
Trxcx: We're also not sure and donno whats next..will update u there re new devmts.

Oct 23rd 2006 Monday 7:55pm
Trxcx: My mum has passed away. am fine..she went peacefully while i was lying on her..

Trxcx was among the clique of friends I've know since sec 3. One year ago we went to her house for Chinese New Year. Six months ago we watched Dim Sum Dollies with her mom. I remember her mom's face and am glad memory of her stays that way.

If I can have things my way, I too would rather the chance to spend the last few minutes with my loved ones and watch them slip away. This then being called up and rushing down to find them already departed. It's like I missed some window of transistion from living to non.
Quirky, but I would like a final goodbye, a 'this is it' moment where I, with all knowledge of how absolutely no control I have of things to say: I am letting you go

Do we need a wake-up call every now and then to remind ourselves to speak more with our parents. Be kinder to them. Have ong chai soup vegetable for the past 3 meals consecutively and feel lucky there's even a meal on the table. It's a roll-coaster ride of emotions. We go all bad, feel guilty and it's hey mom/dad I love you again. Quite pathetic if you ask me, but it will always happen and that is a fact.

I stopped hugging my parents since....I cant remember when. However I do know it's only during Uni days whenever I depart from Singapore for Perth warrants me the chance to hug them goodbye. These hugs are warranted and now that I'm back for good. I no longer have any 'reasons' to hug them. Why does it take someone to leave before we feel 'safe' enough to extend those arms? And why did I just use the word 'safe'?

These days look at what sorry display I leave myself with: when my mom retires for the night, I would go to her room and chat with her till she drifts off to sleep. I would then back up against her back and feel her rythmic breathes and it will make me feel everything is all right again.

????

One of my favourite season: when the moon ripens in all fullness and some lady meets her beu on the moon. Chinese folklore amidst Mid-Autmn. Yummy mooncakes aside (as many yolks as possible!!) it's that season where I get to light things up and watch them burn. Literally

We were mad. PSI was at 150, still we soldiered on to Bishan Park and proceeded with lanterns, display of candles and added to the haze with the sparklers. Im not surprised if it peaked 300 at Bishan Park that night. Vain attempts to get into the mood, we brought out mooncakes and chinese tea, sipped at it while trying to make out where the darn moon was.

Checkout this burning heart some couples left behind. I pity the cleaner that comes in the morning, awful load of wax to clear off the ground. If you asked me, it would be easier if cleaner lights it on fire again.

Hungry, we headed off to MacDonalds somewhere in Ang Mo Kio. Thinking it was wee hours of a Sunday morning, parking coupon would not be needed. Halfway into our meal, some parking warden walked in and sat at the table beside ours. They looked absorbed, sorting out the day's records I suppose. I remember my friend was pointing them out to me, it's the parking warden. Looking at them, Im quite sure they bring waves of uneasiness wherever they go...

See this below? Never seen so many parking tickets put together like that. All four cars got it. Free parking on Sunday indeed. It only starts from 7am - 7pm! I wrote an appeal letter to HDB today, asking for leniency in the spirit of Mid-Autmn Festival! One wrote got Diahorrea, the other blamed it on the haze and the 4th simply paid up I think! My fingers are crossed but I'm quite interested to know which approach would appeal to them.

Are you still a 'grand..'?

Past saturday I was at church waiting for the service to start. I looked over the span of the hall and see groups of people having sabbath classes, there was my grandma sitting with her friend. Hers was the oldie group and I just stared at them. Old people coming to church faithfully every week. Most part of their lives have gone, having lived through all the experiences ,they still come without having seen the God they worship. Something must be working for them right?

I just sat there and looked at grandma, studying her, wondering how long more before I would not see her sitting there again. Then her friend must have spotted me, whispered to my grandma and both oldies looked back at me, I waved and they both waved back smiling. I felt warm all over and can never erase that sight.

Por por passed away and its been 5years? This is the only grandma I have left. After she's gone, Im no longer a grandchild or 'mei mei'. 3 weeks ago we celebrated her 84th at her brother's. This is the siblings. We sang her the birthday song and she wiped a tear away. It pains me cos I dont want to see grandma cry.

After por por's death, I feel vulnerable when Im with old people. When no one's looking, I find myself just staring at them, studying them...The lady above is my cousin's granny, not sure how old she is but old enough. This is her covering her mouth while she chews her food. So sweet right? So old already but still keeps her manners in check. I mean, I wont mind the slightest bit even if she's got food all over, it just amuses me. Sometimes I feel the older a person is...can I say the more discipline they have over themselves and their actions? I think they're beautiful.

My favourite pic of granny and grandpa and pic of por por with my brother.

Laosai boss is leaving the bank. He always calls me little jedi, in return I naturally address him as jedi master. When I left and rejoined the bank, I let known to him I'm still around, only that I'm in consumer banking. He said no wonder there's disturbance in the Force. .

It's been 8 months since I left private banking, now I'm finally returning, I hear of his soon departure. Funny but Im affected somehow. Cant say we worked long together but somehow he was able to influence me quite abit. In his way, he was mentoring me. How often do you get a boss that sits down with you, gives pointers on writing powerful emails? He's known to also attend conference calls with his staff, mutes the phone and prep his staff with strategic answers when the other party is being difficult. Knowing what to say and how to say it is a professional skill. He doesnt fight the battle for you, you fight it yourself aided by his guidance. Unfortunately, I dont get this. Most of my calls are fairly easy but there was one call I wished he was around, I got shot down by compliance.

Mornings when he catches me making cuppa coffee, he points accusingly at the cup why are you drinking this? Acid! It's acid! Followed by, I must tell you the acid story...

We have coded term for tea-break session. When it strikes four in the afternoon, you see someone walking up to your desk, you turn and look at him and expect either 1 of 2 things. Utterance of the word Eyebrow. Or him drawing his finger across his eyebrow. You'd know it's time for tea-break with him and his gang. Why eyebrow? It sparked off cos of a malay lady who serves at ah mei kaya toast. She shaved off her eyebrows just to draw it back again real thin and heavily arc-ed. He was clearly amused by that and it became a thing ever since. A funny character, but commanded alot of respect nonetheless. I wish him life's best.

Roadtrip on Wheelies..

We did just that. My friend has a pair of foldable bikes kept at the back of the family car which her parents use to ride out at East Coast Park. She happen to drive the car today and wheee we headed off to Seletar Air Base. She, with blazing determination to desparately lose calories and me with burning passion to explore the air base. Perfect! Parked the car near Kingfisher Bar & Restaurant and cycled first to Sunset Grill & Bar on these cool little darlings.

There were lots of vacant buildings around, believe it used to be for military use. Set your directions to East Camp and you'll be en route to Sunset Grill. This place really doesnt feel like Singapore. You know your nearly there when you see these. I love the retro street lamps!

We reach our destination and rewarded ourselves with ice-cold beer and calamari. While walking, I spotted a pineapple growing off its bush!

Next, we headed off and cycled just about anywhere the road takes us. It's not in the pics but there was a street named Knight's Bridge. Sounds really medieval.

Clear skies, bare trees, there are houses with residents...mostly occupied by angmohs. Was informed the rental is at least 2k per month and you gotta sign up at least 2 years. Had crazy thought of renting one with some friends for couple of months. Split the rental, head off to work and come home to daily BBQs and hangout talks. With the huge gardens there, you can easily play volley, badminton or softball.

Dempsey I love you..
Yesterday evening I was whisked away by friends who snuck me to a seculded wine-dine watering hole The Wine Network hidden deep within dempsey road. Rustic and amid lush greenery, we chose alfresco and I could truely see stars. This is some cool place I'm determined to explore furthur in the day. There were standalone buildings which were deserted scattered across the dim compound. I wonder what's the story to this secret garden. We had pizza, chicken drumlets which when served hears cries of missy J exclaiming how the portion has shrunk. Also smoked salmon salad and washing all these down with a bottle of white. A red followed soon after and missy kept refilling my glass, before long I was flying.

High but not gone, though I clearly do not recollect seeing the waiter set the glass of warm water and piece of lemon in front of me. A turn of head and hey these items magically appeared. Times like these I know I could sleep forever, something which I've been seriously deprived of. They sent me home and I made a beeline for bed. It was only quarter to eleven and I totally knocked out, waking up at 4am to have the runs. I hate those. It didnt feel right at 4ish, my head was still spining and my tummy quisy. Drifting inbetween consciousness, I was worried about how I could drag my hangover body to work and stay upright for rest of the day. I must've squeezed in more solid sleep between that couple of hours, at half-past 8 I jumped right out and headed out to face the world. Thankfully most part of my hangover was gone, I just had more runs at work and couple before and during this blog entry. It sucked, now my tummy feels tortured as if I managed a million sit-ups. Nonetheless I found myself a new playground and this will certainly keep me busy for couple of weeks. The place reminds me of Sunset Grill & Pub, another rare discovery. It's not everyday you drive right up and park next to planes eh. It's in the plans to bring our bikes down and cycle out the vicinity. I might just do that for dempsy .

After discount...$6.90

Finally! I found the VCD yesterday at good ole Poh Kim and it was going for 50%! Happy... Wasted no time in tearing off the package and indulged myself in love,drama and death. Part of the reason why I was quite persistent in getting hold of this movie was reading that one of the actresses commited suicide in Feb last year. She died at the age of 25. What a pity right? I thought to myself, she's got everything going for her...career, looks and fame yet she chose to end her life. But guess all these could be the very reason that adds to her depression. Below are some pictures, guess it's quite easy to figure out who's the one.

Evacuation Chart

click on chart to enlarge

QNS: How to determine the hardness and weight??

Of Things Kimchi
Trying to get hold of this korean drama. This is a 2002 production, considering the korean wave here, surprisingly none of the shop staff approached heard of it...



Esther is back but only for the week. She's flying off again Monday morning back to her little Beijing apartment. Bernard's in HongKong, Michelle soon to be Australia, brother in NZ. Gee...picking out vacation spots should be quite a breeze for me.
Today's my first time meeting Tabby and it's really been awhile since I heard someone punctuate their lines with limpeh. I just burst out laughing. Its quite fun hanging out with people lidat for a change and I find the lian in me identifying with her.

Boo!

It's been awhile...how come all my pictures disappeared?

Little Girl in a Big Big World...

Everybody dress to kill at the CBD area, especially Mondays. Power suits, 2-3 inch heels, linkcuffs etc if their branded suits are way more branded than yours, they can kill you.

I learned there are the fast lane and the slow lane on the escalators. Those in a hurry will step right and walk while riding along. If you wish to just ride it out, you have to stand left.

So, on Monday like all people, suffered from the Blues and I commute to work gloomy and I hate it that everyone dressed like they're so uppity with expressions that's far from friendly and they have such intended force in their steps when they walk, dont their feet hurt at all? So back to the escalator, I was running late, cut right and knocked the shoes off some lady in front of me. Her flops went sprawling to the other end, I found myself staring at her naked feet and for a split second I thought 'wah so smartly dressed but eh? bare-feet?? '. Half expecting her whip round giving me loud 'tsk' or killer stare, heard lady 'hehe' to herself while she reached for her shoe. Her 'hehe' did it, already I found it irresistibly funny, her 'hehe' nearly killed me cos I desparately wanted to laugh too! I swear it was the hardest apology I coughed up while holding my chocking urge. It was precisely so funny cos it was like so improper. And suddenly it didnt feel like a awful Monday no more..

My Boss:
- calls us 'boss' instead of our names and he msg us on this messenger thing we have like msn and ask how's our morning/lunch/day etc: 'helo boss, hw's lunch?'
- he's overwhelmed by work and mostly it's bohliao stuff, he forwards the email to us with his comment in big fonts "Lao Sai"
- time to time he'll msg us 'boss hw r u? Im dying...'
- so we go drop by check in on him at his cubicle and he shows us what he has to work on while half-crying and laughing 'wah lao...cherandy...I have to update this, this, this, boring man...'
- some people made mistakes or did stupid unexplainable things, his msg: "Vomit!"

See what?

Hi! I'm her evil twin, she's Gemini remember so that's gotta be another around and yup its me. Brandy. You laughing at my name?You think it's cheesy? Suck my toe. It's a stupid name but it signifies my all too important role in her otherwise mundane life.
Although she pretends I'm not around..as if I put her to shame, each time she gets drunk, who takes it for her? And the woman wakes up the next day going about her usual as if nothing happened.
No she didnt climb up the podium in Devils and make a complete ass of herself, no she didnt beg the waiter at Harry's (?) to 'save' her by dancing with her (which he gladly obliged and was all gentleman about it...woah) cos some scary blok kept harrassing her to dance with him, and no she certainly did not chat up with the janitor telling him how he should wear his redcap while he smiles nervously at her as he cleans up some puke off the floor..It was all ME! And she has the cheek to be ashamed of me! Ingrate!
Sooo except for certain days of the month dependent on some weird cycle or the Moon, OR when she oh-so-unwillingly lands herself in unhealthy environment surrounded by booze and plays victim there, I'm usually not interested in letting myself out. But when I DO come out and grace my presence, I relish every moment of it. So really, ours is a love-hate relationship, something which I find tough to understand.
Anyways, I cant stand it that she kids herself thinking with her new found job, she's either too stressed or busy to blog something down and so tonight it's MY SAY. She not happy she can go suck the other toe.
Let me begin by introducing myself:


She: My acting angel twin


Me: Evil Twin


Just a side note, someone once commented that MY picture looked like some Japanese babe! WoohoOoo! Kawaii Ne~~And she had the audacity to be all cheery and happy about it! As if it's her pic??
The woman shocks me, horrifies me and fascinates me.

Case-study:

1. She was told to go Millenia Tower and obtain her Acess Pass on the 39th floor from a lady working at the CSIS Dept. Apparently she was also informed there should be a Smith and Barney's office around on the same floor.
- She steps into the crowded lift, press '39' and I heard her telling herself she's gonna faint any moment cos everyone around her was smartly donned in business armour suits and she's getting smaller smaller and smaller... *Ding* 29th Storey says the Automated voice and the woman walked out! She looked around for Smith and Barneys, not in sight. She went on along the corridor reading the Dept plates on the walls. No CSIS but she did see a CIS. She hesitates abit and thought oh well, maybe it's the same. The SAME?! And proceeds to dial the relevant extension while she stands outside the obviously wrong door! Nobody answered, annoyed, she marched up to the recep of the floor and asked for the lady she was to meet. 'Oh, CSIS is on the 39th Floor' said the lady. You should have seen the look on my twin's face. Doh!

2. Every Friday evening, she supposedly started having Cell Group meetings on the 16th floor at this condo 'Rafflesia' in Bishan. She's both driven / being driven there couple of times and last night being late, overworked and very hungry, she rushed down in a cab. Uncle cabby asked her before he turned in 'This one ar?' She looked up abit 'ya' and continues playing with her mobile. Now, at the gantry, you usually just tell the guard the magic words '16-0-1' and you'll be let through, unmolested. Last night, the guard gave her a funny look and she thought he was being rude. He then shoves a book to her face and requested she signs in. The nerve! She complains to the cabby uncle that they started a new system and that before, there wasnt any need to sign any stuff at all and laments and sighs while she scribbled on it. After being let through, she thought the driveway was a little strange and that he has to drive a little longer than usual before arriving at the dropoff point. No worries. She paid and proceeded to the lift lobby. Strange, this time they built doors to the lobby, new system of having to sign in and now there are lobby doors! Note, by this time, I was kinda frowning and gave her a little kick, but the bugger ignored me. Oh well. She goes into the lift with an angmoh couple, the man was carrying a big pot of plant with little oranges on it. Chinese New Year mood infectious! Cool! Then she looks at the buttons....no button with '16' on it to press. The highest floor was '10'. Well, she has to press something right? She hit the highest floor while she was all confused inside. Angmoh couple exit at their floor and she frantically hit the Ground button while she thinks to herself where the other 6 storeys gone to. Down at the ground level, she walks around, and I cant believe this but she actually thinks maybe this is the wrong block, maybe another block has 16 storeys to it and that's the right one. The colours of the condos seemed right and even the swimming pool seemed right so it's gotta be another block. She called her cell group friend to check on the correct tower and was told it's tower 1, she saw tower A and thinks that's the one. 'A' and '1' is the first of everything. So it must be it. She walks and stopped short, wait, this block looks short, it's the same one I came out from, looks around, all the blocks are of the same height! It's all 10 storeys! She walks to the gantry and checks with the guard. Wrong place. Does it surprise you? Did it surprise me? There's more. The guard told her 'Rafflesia' is further up the road. She attempts to walk uphill, feeling stupidier with each step she took in her filmsy heels. Upon nearing the compound, she looks at the colour of the condos and thinks, 'This is not it, the colours are wrong and the tennis court is not above ground level, not the place at all'. Then she saw the signboard
Rafflesia
Stupid or not, I ask you?
You want somemore? Ok just abit more..

3. She was bathing just now right and began the routine of washing her hair first. Using only Dove hair products, after shampooing she went on to the conditioner and rinsed it off. So far so good. Next is the body right? She reached and squeezed out a fat glob of Dove shampoo, again.

She thinks it's not too bad since, hey there's no one else in the bathroom, she can remedy the situation by twisting off the shampoo cap and scrapping the glob back into the bottle.
Think again, she forgot I was there.

Who's ashamed of who now?

~Brandy (shaddup)~

Welcome to channelcherandyasia: According to statistics, Unemployment has declined by 0.00001% today...

Bcos I've juz been hired! Today is like smack everything happening in yer face one after another. Agent called in morning informed me of an interview set for afternoon. Went for it and couple of hours later, she said I'm selected!! WooHOoo!! Can you feel my happiness?? Can you??

Gosh all of a sudden I feel I've not played enough...I know this is a stupid thought but cant they have me start work next Monday instead of tomorrow? Im not ready to wake up 7am and jostle with the peak hr crowd. I'll most probably have insomnia tonight and look like shit tomorrow. Looking at my dull-wit face, they'll prob think they've selected the wrong candidate and let me go the next day! Smack and Wham again! They better not cos this is the very same bank that rejected me the other time. I dont care if it's a different office this time, if they let me down again I'll take it very personal and burn them down. Not when I sent mass SMS to all my friends "tis is to formally announce ur dearez fren cheran here has been employed! Tnks for all de encouragements! Muacky muackz"

Alrite I'm heading out for a grand celebration, fireworks and all.
Kiss porridge nightmare goodbye!

Jobless and Chest-less...

My agent confirmed my worstest fear, din get the stupid job as expected. Hate it when I always get it right and it's always the bad bad ones. I'm peeved. I've had it with this dumb bank, one day when I become rich and powerful, I'll employ someone to open and close an account worth millions every alternate day and I want my withdrawal all in coins.

So she's gonna try pimp me to another bank, we'll see how that goes. To speed things up, I went down to Adecco and got myself another personnel consultant. Hmm I like the word agent better, makes me feel like a celebrity whenever friends ask for updates "..my agent will contact me should there be further developments". This hongkie-twang agent tells me she has an open position currently, working hours are from 4pm - 1am...this explains why it's still left open. Well, I cant be choosy right? Anything nice and rosy wld have been snatched up, even if it aint, it wldnt be for me. So if they're willing to train someone like me who's got no relevant experience wadsoever, I'm happy. Just take me!

Other news - met up with 2 of my closest friends for lunch and got scolded for not eating enough cos to them I lost weight and my breasts. I was never a large or even close to a moderate. 'Ya but at least u had some, now it's like u dont even have any'.

I wanna hit things.

I'm on emotional crutches..

Well I've seen better days. Maybe its my hormones, I'm in the midst of my cycle. Maybe it's the damning drilling that roused me from my slumber at unearthly hours. Maybe its the awful interview I went through yesterday.

When I received call from my agent that I was shortlisted for the interview, nothing could describe my happiness! At least I have a chance! When I was informed of the venue and the interviewer, they were strangely familar...Didnt take long to realise I've been to the exact place, had the interview with the exact person couple of months back! It was through a friend that had me hooked up to that interview and now my agent's sending me to the same interview again.
What kinda chance do I have now? Disappointed, I decided to turn up anyway...I mean who knows?

Apparently, the lady who was due to interview me made that realisation too and checked with my friend way before our scheduled time. She told my friend since she's interviewed me before she cant interview me again, so I was actually interviewed by another lady. My friend found out and relate to me that I wasnt shortlisted the first time bcos I didnt look like I would stay on with the supposedly boring job and that the lady felt I'm more apt for sales position. Come on! I would have know better and go immerse myself with sales application instead of trying out for this than right? Obviously I would know what I want and would be commited to stick on with the 'boring' job. How could they just presume and its not even a correct presumption at that!

I turn up hopping I could change her mind, only to discover another lady was interviewing me and the interview wasnt good. It was superficial, nothing much was asked about me and it felt like she was just going through for the sake of it. I was in and out in about 10mins.

Now you know why I feel terrible?

But then again my friends were real supportive and I'm so grateful for that, for them.

supportive fren: no worries la..take your time

me: if take somemore time I have to eat porridge liao la

supportive fren: porridge not bad wad...quite nice to eat leh

me: ...can you try harder to make pple feel better instead of describing the porridge

supportive fren: hehe..ok la it's that stupid company's loss..

and she even went further to check up my horoscope (gemini), cut and paste the entire chunk detailing how the year 2005 would be a good year for me.

I really appreciated that. Another bore with my whinning and lamenting into the phone about how ill-fated I am, how the sun refuse to shine for me no more..you know..making my problem sound bigger than it really is.

Below are more sporadic utterance from various friends:
fren 1: cheran, we go for holiday ok? I lend you the money first, no interest. You can pay me back when u find your job.

fren 2: you still have money in your bank not? If not can tell me..

fren 3: I pray for you ok?

They dont know how much I love them. It's not the money, Im definitely very good with my finance management. It's just that sometimes they really make me feel very loved...think I should go and cry abit..

How Was Your Night?

A simple dinner apointment morphed into 7hours of unforseen chained activities.
I guess nobody really wanted to end the night, head home and wake up to a gloomy Sunday so what do we do? We tell each other and ourselves 'Nope, not tired, where to next?'

So we stretched the hours of darkness and prowled the streets.Something which I've not done for a very long time since my uni days in Perth. I dig the excitment in these, spontaneous and uncalled for, anything goes. But it's very impt that the company is right. Vibes and all. If the companionship aint there, Disney feels like an afternoon hangout at the 7-11s. I'd rather watch polish dry off my nails.

It was half past 10, a very late dinner at Clark Quay. We decided on TCC : Chicken Enchiladas, Fresh Farm Salad and loads of flavoured tea to wash down with. Endless chattering, dessert was fantasized so we gave in and ordered Banana and Chocolate Rum ice-cream. Close to one, TCC was winding up for the day and we started the 'where to next?'

Late night movie sounded enticing so we headed for Cine in my Rebel friend's zippy bike which I'll call SpeedShark cos I think thats what the sticker read. Nothing on screen which we've not seen was interesting. Except "Omen" which Rebel was tempting me with. But me and ghost-horror movies dont cross path and I'm determined to ensure it never does and I'm glad she doesnt push it. That was two-ish.

Spontaneous thinking churned up Bowling and I did really pathetic. My thumb was swelling with just 2 throws and I found myself admiring the lians over at the next lane, they had their very own cool balls and bowled like thunder, knocking pins like toothpicks. Rebel insisted I threw curve balls, that I tell her how I did it. She was being nice attempting to cushion my crushed ego or she failed to realise though they spin alrite, it all spun nicely into the gutter, with a couple bordering on the edge taunting me before drain shots.

It was here at the Marina South carpark I attempted to ride SppeedShark. "It's an Auto, just throttle and go" she says. And you guessed right, Shark drove me instead and pweeny seconds passed before bike had enough of me and puked me off over the curb and I managed half a somersault. Bike was resting nicely alongside curb. I blame it on bad karma.

Past 3. Geylang King of Doughstick. Here we shoved more food: tea-egg, beancurd, soya milk and doughstick. I love 24hrs food stalls! Made this our last stop cos I could see her eyes were starting to swell from weariness. I loved the food, appreciated her company and grateful for Shark's mercy. Towards the end, I remember feeling mellow and nostalgic. It seemed I was starting to miss the night already.
Reached home at five.
It has to be my best night.

Part III: Finale

Alrite this is the really romantic sleeping quarters we had at the village. For some strange reasons, each night before I right about lose my consciousness, these words comes to mind: I'm a beeeautiful little butterfly. That's what too much of "A Bug's Life" does to you.



Having spent 4 days with the Karen folks, I know I left a part of myself there and bidding farewell was rather tough. Maybe it's a becoming of self. To be a part of something that's bigger then life itself, how do you let it go? They were able to understand what Goodbye meant and amidst photo shots and hugs, I'm constantly reminded of the fact we may never see each other again. And I can only hope I left an impact in their lives, one that is positive of cos, that there are people who loves them and will try and help them. Bcos they did leave quite a deep one on me.

Chiangmai Academy/Orphanage
The drive was hell. Close to 10hrs of bumming and near-puke experience. Death chill winds, polluted city air, holding-off pissing till stops are made and scrambling into moving vehicle cos driver doesnt really ensure all is safely accounted for and seated. We finally reached the Academy and I was kissing the ground.
Greeted by students of the orphanage and immediately I noticed how Thai people esp those up here in the north look really good! Like this handsome boy, well not real outstanding in this pic but he's seriously gorgeous in person, so agreed by my surrounding friends.



Lady in black is Malee and white is Noch. Very pretty as well. I do not know if they are orphans as some students have parents around but they live in the orphanage. Anways, I noticed Malee cos shes pretty and has a very cool and attitude face. I went up to her and told her she's pretty and she thanked me very politely. Next day we visited the orphanage again and I decided to take a picture of them. After which I walked to a nearby swing and sat by myself while listening to some ongoing sermon. Malee came up and asked if she could sit beside me and we made small talks then she requested that we exchange contacts so we could keep in touch. See what I told you about being cool and attitude? You would never expect that this individual be the more forward between the both of us. Me, arguably the more seasoned and city slicker and she having spent all 10yrs of her life in an orphanage and possibly never have travelled in a airplane was the one to reach out. I was more than impressed and humbled. We did and both she and Noch would be receiving a copy of the photograph below.
Right now at this point in time, I would really like to sponsor someone from that orphanage. And I know I will work towards that aim.

Part II :



Influenced them to put up my infamous V pose!


To them its luxury
I learned their usual fare consists of only boiled cabbage with rice. The way she slurp it up made magiee manufacturers proud.



Brave girl had a badly infected wound. She was limping around and caught the attention of our trained nurse who sat her down and cleaned up her pus-caked cut. She washed, she dug at it and brave girl kept a smile thru-out! It was painful alrite, she tensed and clenched her teeth at times. I felt so sore and held her hand while the cleansing was in process. After cleaning and dressing up her wound, she went to play hopscotch in the dirt..geez..



Things we did together. Taught the alphabets, simple english vocabulary, shared stories about Jesus birth in the manger and coloured 'Jesus Loves You' pictures.



We gave out blankets, clothes, toys and some medical supplies.

Siam: Deep in the forest down some creek, 'Silent Night' could be heard at a little Karen village..

+ It was the most romantic outback stay. mosquito nets (pink!) lined the ceiling. tons and tons of blankets as cushions and covers for the cold. Candles burning dimly at some corner. All snuggled alongside each other falling aslp to lull of crickets and snores.

+ Was adventurous enough to bathe by the icy river. Amid washing hair Timotei style, heard my travel buddy Joyce laughing. Looked up and saw my Rejoice shampoo bobbing along with the current downstream. Ran after it for dear life creating big splish-splash. Places like these, I need my damn shampoo. Rescued it alrite.

+ 'Ter Berlerk' (made-up spelling) is Karen for 'What's your name'. We kept asking each other till it's like some form of greeting. To me, they all looked the same differentiated only by the clothes they never change out of. To them, we all looked the same too. I introduced myself as my chinese name 'Su Jun' , 'Cherandy' would be a real challenge I reckon. They got the hang of it and kept calling out 'Su Jun' just to evoke a response from me. Be it a look, a smile, a wave sometimes even a 'What/Simi?' from me. Initially I trained them to call me 'Chiobu' just for the fun of it. But dropped it as it became too gross for me to handle.

+ Early morn. Brushing my teeth at the washing area. "Su Jun, Su Jun". I looked up and saw a bunch of them across the grasspatch. I waved and they waved back amused. Continued brushing "Su Jun, Su Jun". Waved again. This happened afew times and became quite routine.

+ A platform of wood slabs was put together near our house. We lined blankets on it and snuggled under more blankets while staring out at the stars. The max no. of shooting stars under 2hrs was 6.

+ I imagined myself being tied-down with the bridge building but the truth is, there really wasnt much we could do. The best we could offer was to transport planks. I find myself more drawn to the educational class we conducted. This is where I could interact with them the most and is also the most cherished episode of my trip. We sang songs, taught the alphabets tho I guess they have hardly a clue what was being sung, they sang along anyhow. Languages,cultures are no barrier when there are smiles and love being displayed. Imagine Captain's Ball and Poison Ball was played there. Imagine the word 'Chiobu'could be heard at that part of the world..

to be continued..