What Kind of Virgin Are You?
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hmm technically Im a virgin ya...but I dont think Im an idealist. I mean, sex is the ultimate expression of love, isnt it so for the most part of you? The known few who reads this blog will agree with me, no? Dont speak for others, lets just focus on ourselves here, we dont call it sex do we? We dont say to our better half 'lets have sex' , rather its 'let's make love. We refer to 'it' as love-making do we not? I can just see you guys nodding in agreement. Alrite,for those who dont even bother saying it and just get down to the act, you bunch of animals are totally not good examples I can use =). So, as I was saying, if Im guilty of being an idealist for what I feel are the basics to the big 'S', its a fantasy I sure wouldnt wanna wake up from.
If you have any strong feelings towards this, do feel free to comment.

Reason for my Disappearance: The aliens were here and they took me up for those little experiments...

Alrite alrite its been some time since I last blogged and I guess there isnt any entertaining enough reason I could throw up except for the past 2 days had me down at a language centre being a Teacher.

Yep, those who know me have heard my crowing for this 'dream' profession since eternity. Chanced upon an ad seekin relief english teacher at this language centre. Sent in my resume I did and got it for 2 days.

I was assigned two classes to teach. First class: secondary level, made up of teens to young adults. Most were from China who had the ability to understand me when I converse in English but had real diffculty when it comes to communicating in it. I notice they pronouce the 'v' as 'w'. Vanished was wanished. It seemed they couldnt or somehow was afraid? To have the upper teeth have whatsoever contact with the bottom lip in order to mouth the 'v'. I brought that to their attention and demostrated quite a number of times with much exeraggeration just to drive in the point. Towards end of class, my bottom lip felt funny, it was almost as if there were faint teeth imprints on them. On the whole I enjoyed myself thorougly, although it needed some getting used to at first. Walking into a sea of eyes staring at you first thing in the morning was quite nerve-racking. This is like presentation for 3 hours, a 20min break-in between of course, without written scripts and therefore no practise. I felt better as I got into the feel of things and it helped tremendously when they responded to me. I noticed I was more interested in getting to know them then getting into doing the exercise. But work has to be done of course, however, any slightest chance I could start a discussion, I would. Judging from their eagerness to participate, I would like to think they enjoyed it too.

So the first class was smooth. How difficult could the next one be? I thought looking at my time-table. Primary class was next on my schedule. Its weird but they arranged for pri 2 and pri 4 kids to be in the same class. My immediate concern was, how am I gonna spend time with one group while making sure the other group does their work or better yet, behave?

I walked into mandai when I walked in that room. They were EVERYWHERE. All lost in their little world pattering and chattering. I felt safe sitting at my seat watching them. Where was the nice bubble dream I had: Teacher lecturing and tiny small adorable hands shoot up eager to answer questions with cute smiley-u-wanna-pinch faces?
It took them quite a bit of time to register my presence and seeing a new foreign face sitting there, staring at them, may have a surprise-effect on them cos they began to settle down, traces of fear on their face. They were in shock. I was in shock.

For the next 4 hours I was there, it was like Armageddon. I was not in the best of moods having my rosy bubble burst, every little creature wanted my attention everytime, at the same time, I had difficulty hearing the sounds I was making and far left, two boys were kicking at each other's legs. Both very determined and hard-core believers that the other deserved it. I managed to bring it all under control. No sweat. Strong vocals was all you needed and roared I did. Oh well, at least things were calm at intervals before the next roar. When class ended and they march off with their little bags, most bothered to come to me and bid farewell for the day with their "bye bye teacher". Ahhh....those cute-smiley-u-wanna-pinch faces...

Cant get enough of Murphy's Laws? More here:

MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMPUTERS!

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural.

He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.

A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

When the going gets tough, upgrade.

When you need to send an email quick, that's when the modem won't connect!

Murphey's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Ok, this is frustrating. Im very certain the pictures I put up in my last entry could be displayed last night. Upon checking it out today, Im not pleased with what I saw: No. 3 pic went missing only to be replaced by the red X meaning a broken link. And as I hit 'Refresh' hopping it could be just a technical glitch in the initial display, I found to my terrifying horror, No. 2 pic went 'X' too. I sniff a pattern forming here, u guessed it, I hit 'Refresh' again and viola! No. 1 pic joined the 'X' family! Why am I not surprised.

Someone by the name of lycons left this comment in my last entry:
yahoo's image hosting doesnt work outside yahoo's compound. use this instead.
http://www.esmartmusic.com/
sign up and host ur pics.
cheers*
lycons | Email | 10.21.02 - 2:50 am


Encouraged, I immediately tried to sign up for an account. After keying all the usual data and being really hopeful as I click 'Submit' this is what I get: ERROR 7735: Unable to create account at this time.

You know sometimes you get the feeling: if the irritating item in question ( for my case here it would be esmartmusic.com and yahoo.com ) could personify into a living being, you'll love to slap its face against your punches. Repeatedly.

PS: Who is lycons? And what are you doing up at 2:50am my unknown friend?

Will I get fried for this?

Excerpts...

White_iCe: ww.enoch.per.sg
pappy: enoch? hahaa
White_iCe: wassup with enoch
pappy: tat fella who was taken to heaven
White_iCe: lol
White_iCe: how u know
White_iCe: enoch was the 1st man that God brought up to heaven
pappy: im a christian
pappy: took bible knowledge for my Os wahaha
White_iCe: OMG
pappy: ya moses the second man
pappy: two of them being taken up differntly
White_iCe: OMG
pappy: enoch din die, moses died
White_iCe: THEN WHAT HAPPENED TO U NOW
pappy: to show the two ways of getting to heaven
pappy: wahahahaa
White_iCe: hahaha
pappy: im undercover
White_iCe: undercover??
pappy: acting on instructions from the divine
White_iCe: whoa
pappy: undercover police kinda work
pappy: ya i've got myself a fanciful badge
White_iCe: so have u been talking to Him lately?
pappy: talking?
pappy: mostly its just receiving of instructions
White_iCe: fanciful badge??
pappy: we don get to 'tok' 2 way comm
pappy: will get 'beamed' to death by his glorious brightness
White_iCe: lol
pappy: hmmmm...third way of going to heaven
pappy: pappy gets beamed to death den taken up
White_iCe: lol

*Disclaimer: With all respect, I like to talk crap but it doesnt mean I have none for the Above alrite. Is this an attempt to justify myself to avoid being shot down by faceless sniper or bombed to pieces by extremists...ya I think it is

Bloody Blast

Today Straits Times had 8 pages packed with horrendous pictures and articles of the Bali blast. Few nights ago I saw it on the news. The number of bodies charred, unidentifiable littered the streets of the holiday island. Video footage showed what the island was before as in the eyes of tourists: holiday-makers dancing, partying with drinks in hand, all with smiles on their faces as they looked into the camera. This was contrasted by scences displayed next..flattened buildings, military troops on the rescue pulling bodies out. These bodies are not the usual 'hands by their sides, lying flat on their back with look of peace on their face' , the deceased have limbs frozen at motion-less positions sticking up into the air. This could only mean one thing: totally burnt dried into the resulting form. Nobody looks into the camera, people who ran past the camera had terror in their eyes. What have they witnessd? What have they seen that put those look into their eyes? You know how disturbed you can get when you look at someone's face who've seen things that shook them up. Even though you may not set your eyes on what they've seen, just by looking at their face is enough to spook you. I stare awestruck at all the news I could watch, any news that could give any info or differnt views. Maybe, just maybe knowing that little more could take away this fear thats brewing inside of me. Incidents like these are just plain human suffering, for the victims themselves as well as loved ones.
For those whose hands did these, pray hard for mercy.

Michael. You're most like the ArchAngel of Defense. You like to hit things, and you like naked people, preferably cute naked people. A real down-to-earth angel who likes frogs and is easily distracted by bright, shiny things.

Which ArchAngel are you most like?
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This your best way to get me to take 'em off?

Right, so Singapore has a 'bras for a cause' movement. Many many days leading up to today, the radio station I've been tuning into were airing commericals persuading, coaxing, mesmerizing (if you consider the number times it was aired within a span of 15mins!) singaporean women or...man if they're feeling generous too, to donate their bras.
There are just a few things that crooks my left eyebrow into a Nike tick each time I hear the commercial: In an attempt to make women unhook, it gives the really 'attracitve' idea that doing so would put Singapore into the guiness world of records. Who needs to be entered into the records and be made history for these?!? It's one thing to be known for the country that produces the most number of gold athletes but for bra donations? Next, one version of the radio-mercial as I would call it has a man going: I'm standing here with a bra on my head. The segment playback as if it was runing on a jammed gramophone for a couple more times: I'm standing here with a bra on my head. I suppose it was for the attention effect but I think its stupid and out of taste. Whats a full grown man doing voicing out that he's standing somewhere with a bra on his head. And it gets worse, finally the ad continues with him repeating his infamous line: I'm standing here with a bra on my head and I dont know whats the cause. Great. He's either a sick man with a serious case of sleep-walking or its just radio-mercials gone real bad.
Lastly, collection points of the lovely brassieres are held right in the heart of town's shopping malls. Now isnt this the perfect spot to show-off the size of my cups or maybe the numbers of holes creepy crawlies have chowed outta my friend's support.

*Note: with all respect this is a good movement as the famous bra company Wacoal donates 50 damn cents to the breast cancer foundation for every bra donated. The above is just a spit at the radio-mercials which makes my coffee real tough to swallow each time I hear them.

Something I chanced upon..

Children's Book Titles that Didn't Make it

1. You Are Different and That's Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad's New Wife Timothy

4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Dogs Go to Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kittens Can Fly.

12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games

22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan

23. Your Nightmares Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Motherly affair..

I swear the fertility rate at my workplace is high! There are 10 female staff over at the sector where I'm at and ever since I started my work 2 weeks ago I've never met one of the female staff as she's away on maternity leave. Out of the 9 left, 2 are swollen with 1 to be due for delivery anytime soon! I was doing casual talk with her over lunch just this afternoon and I almost freaked out. Oh well, you gotta understand that I'm a fresh graduate, fresh out from uni where all the average kids like myself populate. Suddenly I'm in a room 8 hours everyday surrounded with pregananted mothers-to-be. To me, they are like walking time bomb, nobody knoes when that little fella inside of them decides to make a grand exit. I've seen lots on tv, enough to know once they want out, they mean business! The fact that she is to be due anytime from 'now' (right at that point when she was telling me) to few weeks from 'now' didnt go down very well for me. I literally became jumpy. Anytime now?! What if it was right at that exact moment as we were talking about it? What are we to do? Tell me so I know what to do. Alerted her I must have cos she couldnt talk properly next, stumbled on her words and she laughed at herself blaming me for her nervousness.
I get the strange feeling that mothers-to-be are in a transistional stage. It's like they're 'evolving' into a different breed of human called 'mothers'. I will not be able to comprehend what they are going through or will be made to go through. In a way I feel there's a distance I place between myself and them cos they belong to the 'different kind' , yet I feel a sense of protection owed to them. Keeping a lookout for them so as not to have any distress caused to their puffed up bellies. I await with eagerness the thought that it might strike when she's at the office, what great excitment and we'll all be too excited to get any work done which is good.