Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Little Girl in a Big Big World...

Everybody dress to kill at the CBD area, especially Mondays. Power suits, 2-3 inch heels, linkcuffs etc if their branded suits are way more branded than yours, they can kill you.


I learned there are the fast lane and the slow lane on the escalators. Those in a hurry will step right and walk while riding along. If you wish to just ride it out, you have to stand left.

So, on Monday like all people, suffered from the Blues and I commute to work gloomy and I hate it that everyone dressed like they're so uppity with expressions that's far from friendly and they have such intended force in their steps when they walk, dont their feet hurt at all? So back to the escalator, I was running late, cut right and knocked the shoes off some lady in front of me. Her flops went sprawling to the other end, I found myself staring at her naked feet and for a split second I thought 'wah so smartly dressed but eh? bare-feet?? '. Half expecting her whip round giving me loud 'tsk' or killer stare, heard lady 'hehe' to herself while she reached for her shoe. Her 'hehe' did it, already I found it irresistibly funny, her 'hehe' nearly killed me cos I desparately wanted to laugh too! I swear it was the hardest apology I coughed up while holding my chocking urge. It was precisely so funny cos it was like so improper. And suddenly it didnt feel like a awful Monday no more..

My Boss:
- calls us 'boss' instead of our names and he msg us on this messenger thing we have like msn and ask how's our morning/lunch/day etc: 'helo boss, hw's lunch?'
- he's overwhelmed by work and mostly it's bohliao stuff, he forwards the email to us with his comment in big fonts "Lao Sai"
- time to time he'll msg us 'boss hw r u? Im dying...'
- so we go drop by check in on him at his cubicle and he shows us what he has to work on while half-crying and laughing 'wah lao...cherandy...I have to update this, this, this, boring man...'
- some people made mistakes or did stupid unexplainable things, his msg: "Vomit!"

Saturday, February 05, 2005

See what?

Hi! I'm her evil twin, she's Gemini remember so that's gotta be another around and yup its me. Brandy. You laughing at my name?You think it's cheesy? Suck my toe. It's a stupid name but it signifies my all too important role in her otherwise mundane life.
Although she pretends I'm not around..as if I put her to shame, each time she gets drunk, who takes it for her? And the woman wakes up the next day going about her usual as if nothing happened.
No she didnt climb up the podium in Devils and make a complete ass of herself, no she didnt beg the waiter at Harry's (?) to 'save' her by dancing with her (which he gladly obliged and was all gentleman about it...woah) cos some scary blok kept harrassing her to dance with him, and no she certainly did not chat up with the janitor telling him how he should wear his redcap while he smiles nervously at her as he cleans up some puke off the floor..It was all ME! And she has the cheek to be ashamed of me! Ingrate!
Sooo except for certain days of the month dependent on some weird cycle or the Moon, OR when she oh-so-unwillingly lands herself in unhealthy environment surrounded by booze and plays victim there, I'm usually not interested in letting myself out. But when I DO come out and grace my presence, I relish every moment of it. So really, ours is a love-hate relationship, something which I find tough to understand.
Anyways, I cant stand it that she kids herself thinking with her new found job, she's either too stressed or busy to blog something down and so tonight it's MY SAY. She not happy she can go suck the other toe.
Let me begin by introducing myself:



She: My acting angel twin
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Me: Evil Twin
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Just a side note, someone once commented that MY picture looked like some Japanese babe! WoohoOoo! Kawaii Ne~~And she had the audacity to be all cheery and happy about it! As if it's her pic??
The woman shocks me, horrifies me and fascinates me.




Case-study:

1. She was told to go Millenia Tower and obtain her Acess Pass on the 39th floor from a lady working at the CSIS Dept. Apparently she was also informed there should be a Smith and Barney's office around on the same floor.
- She steps into the crowded lift, press '39' and I heard her telling herself she's gonna faint any moment cos everyone around her was smartly donned in business armour suits and she's getting
smaller smaller and smaller... *Ding* 29th Storey says the Automated voice and the woman walked out! She looked around for Smith and Barneys, not in sight. She went on along the corridor reading the Dept plates on the walls. No CSIS but she did see a CIS. She hesitates abit and thought oh well, maybe it's the same. The SAME?! And proceeds to dial the relevant extension while she stands outside the obviously wrong door! Nobody answered, annoyed, she marched up to the recep of the floor and asked for the lady she was to meet. 'Oh, CSIS is on the 39th Floor' said the lady. You should have seen the look on my twin's face. Doh!

2. Every Friday evening, she supposedly started having Cell Group meetings on the 16th floor at this condo 'Rafflesia' in Bishan. She's both driven / being driven there couple of times and last night being late, overworked and very hungry, she rushed down in a cab. Uncle cabby asked her before he turned in 'This one ar?' She looked up abit 'ya' and continues playing with her mobile. Now, at the gantry, you usually just tell the guard the magic words '16-0-1' and you'll be let through, unmolested. Last night, the guard gave her a funny look and she thought he was being rude. He then shoves a book to her face and requested she signs in. The nerve! She complains to the cabby uncle that they started a new system and that before, there wasnt any need to sign any stuff at all and laments and sighs while she scribbled on it. After being let through, she thought the driveway was a little strange and that he has to drive a little longer than usual before arriving at the dropoff point. No worries. She paid and proceeded to the lift lobby. Strange, this time they built doors to the lobby, new system of having to sign in and now there are lobby doors! Note, by this time, I was kinda frowning and gave her a little kick, but the bugger ignored me. Oh well. She goes into the lift with an angmoh couple, the man was carrying a big pot of plant with little oranges on it. Chinese New Year mood infectious! Cool! Then she looks at the buttons....no button with '16' on it to press. The highest floor was '10'. Well, she has to press something right? She hit the highest floor while she was all confused inside. Angmoh couple exit at their floor and she frantically hit the Ground button while she thinks to herself where the other 6 storeys gone to. Down at the ground level, she walks around, and I cant believe this but she actually thinks maybe this is the wrong block, maybe another block has 16 storeys to it and that's the right one. The colours of the condos seemed right and even the swimming pool seemed right so it's gotta be another block. She called her cell group friend to check on the correct tower and was told it's tower 1, she saw tower A and thinks that's the one. 'A' and '1' is the first of everything. So it must be it. She walks and stopped short, wait, this block looks short, it's the same one I came out from, looks around, all the blocks are of the same height! It's all 10 storeys! She walks to the gantry and checks with the guard. Wrong place. Does it surprise you? Did it surprise me? There's more. The guard told her 'Rafflesia' is further up the road. She attempts to walk uphill, feeling stupidier with each step she took in her filmsy heels. Upon nearing the compound, she looks at the colour of the condos and thinks, 'This is not it, the colours are wrong and the tennis court is not above ground level, not the place at all'. Then she saw the signboard
Rafflesia
Stupid or not, I ask you?
You want somemore? Ok just abit more..

3. She was bathing just now right and began the routine of washing her hair first. Using only Dove hair products, after shampooing she went on to the conditioner and rinsed it off. So far so good. Next is the body right? She reached and squeezed out a fat glob of Dove shampoo, again.


She thinks it's not too bad since, hey there's no one else in the bathroom, she can remedy the situation by twisting off the shampoo cap and scrapping the glob back into the bottle.
Think again, she forgot I was there.

Who's ashamed of who now?

~Brandy (shaddup)~







Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Welcome to channelcherandyasia: According to statistics, Unemployment has declined by 0.00001% today...

Bcos I've juz been hired! Today is like smack everything happening in yer face one after another. Agent called in morning informed me of an interview set for afternoon. Went for it and couple of hours later, she said I'm selected!! WooHOoo!! Can you feel my happiness?? Can you??

Gosh all of a sudden I feel I've not played enough...I know this is a stupid thought but cant they have me start work next Monday instead of tomorrow? Im not ready to wake up 7am and jostle with the peak hr crowd. I'll most probably have insomnia tonight and look like shit tomorrow. Looking at my dull-wit face, they'll prob think they've selected the wrong candidate and let me go the next day! Smack and Wham again! They better not cos this is the very same bank that rejected me the other time. I dont care if it's a different office this time, if they let me down again I'll take it very personal and burn them down. Not when I sent mass SMS to all my friends "tis is to formally announce ur dearez fren cheran here has been employed! Tnks for all de encouragements! Muacky muackz"

Alrite I'm heading out for a grand celebration, fireworks and all.
Kiss porridge nightmare goodbye!



Monday, January 17, 2005

Jobless and Chest-less...

My agent confirmed my worstest fear, din get the stupid job as expected. Hate it when I always get it right and it's always the bad bad ones. I'm peeved. I've had it with this dumb bank, one day when I become rich and powerful, I'll employ someone to open and close an account worth millions every alternate day and I want my withdrawal all in coins.

So she's gonna try pimp me to another bank, we'll see how that goes. To speed things up, I went down to Adecco and got myself another personnel consultant. Hmm I like the word agent better, makes me feel like a celebrity whenever friends ask for updates "..my agent will contact me should there be further developments". This hongkie-twang agent tells me she has an open position currently, working hours are from 4pm - 1am...this explains why it's still left open. Well, I cant be choosy right? Anything nice and rosy wld have been snatched up, even if it aint, it wldnt be for me. So if they're willing to train someone like me who's got no relevant experience wadsoever, I'm happy. Just take me!

Other news - met up with 2 of my closest friends for lunch and got scolded for not eating enough cos to them I lost weight and my breasts. I was never a large or even close to a moderate. 'Ya but at least u had some, now it's like u dont even have any'.

I wanna hit things.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I'm on emotional crutches..

Well I've seen better days. Maybe its my hormones, I'm in the midst of my cycle. Maybe it's the damning drilling that roused me from my slumber at unearthly hours. Maybe its the awful interview I went through yesterday.

When I received call from my agent that I was shortlisted for the interview, nothing could describe my happiness! At least I have a chance! When I was informed of the venue and the interviewer, they were strangely familar...Didnt take long to realise I've been to the exact place, had the interview with the exact person couple of months back! It was through a friend that had me hooked up to that interview and now my agent's sending me to the same interview again.
What kinda chance do I have now? Disappointed, I decided to turn up anyway...I mean who knows?

Apparently, the lady who was due to interview me made that realisation too and checked with my friend way before our scheduled time. She told my friend since she's interviewed me before she cant interview me again, so I was actually interviewed by another lady. My friend found out and relate to me that I wasnt shortlisted the first time bcos I didnt look like I would stay on with the supposedly boring job and that the lady felt I'm more apt for sales position. Come on! I would have know better and go immerse myself with sales application instead of trying out for this than right? Obviously I would know what I want and would be commited to stick on with the 'boring' job. How could they just presume and its not even a correct presumption at that!

I turn up hopping I could change her mind, only to discover another lady was interviewing me and the interview wasnt good. It was superficial, nothing much was asked about me and it felt like she was just going through for the sake of it. I was in and out in about 10mins.

Now you know why I feel terrible?

But then again my friends were real supportive and I'm so grateful for that, for them.

supportive fren: no worries la..take your time

me: if take somemore time I have to eat porridge liao la

supportive fren: porridge not bad wad...quite nice to eat leh

me: ...can you try harder to make pple feel better instead of describing the porridge

supportive fren: hehe..ok la it's that stupid company's loss..

and she even went further to check up my horoscope (gemini), cut and paste the entire chunk detailing how the year 2005 would be a good year for me.

I really appreciated that. Another bore with my whinning and lamenting into the phone about how ill-fated I am, how the sun refuse to shine for me no more..you know..making my problem sound bigger than it really is.

Below are more sporadic utterance from various friends:
fren 1: cheran, we go for holiday ok? I lend you the money first, no interest. You can pay me back when u find your job.

fren 2: you still have money in your bank not? If not can tell me..

fren 3: I pray for you ok?

They dont know how much I love them. It's not the money, Im definitely very good with my finance management. It's just that sometimes they really make me feel very loved...think I should go and cry abit..



Sunday, January 09, 2005

How Was Your Night?

A simple dinner apointment morphed into 7hours of unforseen chained activities.
I guess nobody really wanted to end the night, head home and wake up to a gloomy Sunday so what do we do? We tell each other and ourselves 'Nope, not tired, where to next?'

So we stretched the hours of darkness and prowled the streets.Something which I've not done for a very long time since my uni days in Perth. I dig the excitment in these, spontaneous and uncalled for, anything goes. But it's very impt that the company is right. Vibes and all. If the companionship aint there, Disney feels like an afternoon hangout at the 7-11s. I'd rather watch polish dry off my nails.

It was half past 10, a very late dinner at Clark Quay. We decided on TCC : Chicken Enchiladas, Fresh Farm Salad and loads of flavoured tea to wash down with. Endless chattering, dessert was fantasized so we gave in and ordered Banana and Chocolate Rum ice-cream. Close to one, TCC was winding up for the day and we started the 'where to next?'

Late night movie sounded enticing so we headed for Cine in my Rebel friend's zippy bike which I'll call SpeedShark cos I think thats what the sticker read. Nothing on screen which we've not seen was interesting. Except "Omen" which Rebel was tempting me with. But me and ghost-horror movies dont cross path and I'm determined to ensure it never does and I'm glad she doesnt push it. That was two-ish.

Spontaneous thinking churned up Bowling and I did really pathetic. My thumb was swelling with just 2 throws and I found myself admiring the lians over at the next lane, they had their very own cool balls and bowled like thunder, knocking pins like toothpicks. Rebel insisted I threw curve balls, that I tell her how I did it. She was being nice attempting to cushion my crushed ego or she failed to realise though they spin alrite, it all spun nicely into the gutter, with a couple bordering on the edge taunting me before drain shots.

It was here at the Marina South carpark I attempted to ride SppeedShark. "It's an Auto, just throttle and go" she says. And you guessed right, Shark drove me instead and pweeny seconds passed before bike had enough of me and puked me off over the curb and I managed half a somersault. Bike was resting nicely alongside curb. I blame it on bad karma.

Past 3. Geylang King of Doughstick. Here we shoved more food: tea-egg, beancurd, soya milk and doughstick. I love 24hrs food stalls! Made this our last stop cos I could see her eyes were starting to swell from weariness. I loved the food, appreciated her company and grateful for Shark's mercy. Towards the end, I remember feeling mellow and nostalgic. It seemed I was starting to miss the night already.
Reached home at five.
It has to be my best night.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Part III: Finale

Alrite this is the really romantic sleeping quarters we had at the village. For some strange reasons, each night before I right about lose my consciousness, these words comes to mind: I'm a beeeautiful little butterfly. That's what too much of "A Bug's Life" does to you.


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Having spent 4 days with the Karen folks, I know I left a part of myself there and bidding farewell was rather tough. Maybe it's a becoming of self. To be a part of something that's bigger then life itself, how do you let it go? They were able to understand what Goodbye meant and amidst photo shots and hugs, I'm constantly reminded of the fact we may never see each other again. And I can only hope I left an impact in their lives, one that is positive of cos, that there are people who loves them and will try and help them. Bcos they did leave quite a deep one on me.

Chiangmai Academy/Orphanage
The drive was hell. Close to 10hrs of bumming and near-puke experience. Death chill winds, polluted city air, holding-off pissing till stops are made and scrambling into moving vehicle cos driver doesnt really ensure all is safely accounted for and seated. We finally reached the Academy and I was kissing the ground.
Greeted by students of the orphanage and immediately I noticed how Thai people esp those up here in the north look really good! Like this handsome boy, well not real outstanding in this pic but he's seriously gorgeous in person, so agreed by my surrounding friends.


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Lady in black is Malee and white is Noch. Very pretty as well. I do not know if they are orphans as some students have parents around but they live in the orphanage. Anways, I noticed Malee cos shes pretty and has a very cool and attitude face. I went up to her and told her she's pretty and she thanked me very politely. Next day we visited the orphanage again and I decided to take a picture of them. After which I walked to a nearby swing and sat by myself while listening to some ongoing sermon. Malee came up and asked if she could sit beside me and we made small talks then she requested that we exchange contacts so we could keep in touch. See what I told you about being cool and attitude? You would never expect that this individual be the more forward between the both of us. Me, arguably the more seasoned and city slicker and she having spent all 10yrs of her life in an orphanage and possibly never have travelled in a airplane was the one to reach out. I was more than impressed and humbled. We did and both she and Noch would be receiving a copy of the photograph below.
Right now at this point in time, I would really like to sponsor someone from that orphanage. And I know I will work towards that aim.


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