Yesterday my manager had a talk with me and he says there are plans for me to extend my stay here. He wants me to attend this training by the Learning & Department. I hear already I quite sian.

I left my life behind in Singapore. While its quite an experience here, I simply do not wish to be away from home anymore. 3 years in Perth and now this. Each time I go away, I lose something dear in my life. One season it was my hamster, another season it was my por por. When I was back during the holiday before her passing, she was already quite ill. I was scheduled to fly off a day after, I knew then it was the last time I would see her. She hardly had strength to keep her head up. She was dying.....so it wasnt a surprise when I receive an email or a phonecall...I cant remember, of her passing.

My brother emailed me when my hamster died, again some form of electronic route was used to inform me of por por. All these happened and Im just not there.

How 'out-going' can one be? When you travel the world for your career, meeting new people, new cultures, you gain fresh insights, you feel humbled and you gain perspective and than...when is it time to go home?

I've known friends who has travelled half-way round the world and sometimes I marvel at their courage, their independence, their energy..and than I dream about por por one night and in that dream, I was trying to save her. I donno how but there was such urgency in that dream and I felt helpless, I knew I was going to lose her but I didnt know it was a dream and so I was really scared.

There was once, I recall to my aunt and mom about me dreaming of porpor and my aunt also said she dreamt of her too and my mom said 'strange how come she doesnt or cant dream of her' it's like she wished she could too , but she couldnt.

I donno why a post about my extension turned into my grandma, maybe I miss my family alot and I just hope they would wait for me to get home before they're allowed to age any further.