Mothers are the Hardest to let go

Last week was tough. The night after news of her mom, we went to the wake and for the first time in the 13years I've known her, Ive never seen her in that state. She was all skin and bones, her face had obvious wrinkles from the extreme loss of weight. I'm tearing even as I type these words. The moment I saw her, I almost cried...I hugged her and held her hands thinking this is my friend and I barely recognize her.

What emotional torture she mustve been through and right there it seemed as if she's suddenly so many more years my senior. These experiences kinda brought her to another plane in life and what words can you offer to someone who's walked a path you've never set foot on?

As friends who's been hanging around different stages of our lives, I wanted to protect her and hope to take away some of the hurt she's made to go through.

There are words that came out from her which I'll never forget. She speaks of the intense 3 hour talk she had with her mom...well, it's just her doing the talking while her mom drifts in and out of drugged consciousness. She tells her mom how much she loves her and to forgive her for all the hurtful things she'd said and thanking her for being her mom. These 3 hours were simply saying goodbye to her mom. This would be closure for them. Her mom did not open her eyes but trace knew she heard cos tears rolled down her mom's cheeks.

Finally its this sms I received from her saying how she couldnt stop crying and everything reminded her of mom. She cant believe mom's not coming back and she really misses her..

Have you ever missed someone so much, you dont wish to recover from it cos you fear it will make you forget them? Though it hurts viciously, you hang on not wishing to let it go and you rather go on hurting and hurting and hurting..