I'm on emotional crutches..

Well I've seen better days. Maybe its my hormones, I'm in the midst of my cycle. Maybe it's the damning drilling that roused me from my slumber at unearthly hours. Maybe its the awful interview I went through yesterday.

When I received call from my agent that I was shortlisted for the interview, nothing could describe my happiness! At least I have a chance! When I was informed of the venue and the interviewer, they were strangely familar...Didnt take long to realise I've been to the exact place, had the interview with the exact person couple of months back! It was through a friend that had me hooked up to that interview and now my agent's sending me to the same interview again.
What kinda chance do I have now? Disappointed, I decided to turn up anyway...I mean who knows?

Apparently, the lady who was due to interview me made that realisation too and checked with my friend way before our scheduled time. She told my friend since she's interviewed me before she cant interview me again, so I was actually interviewed by another lady. My friend found out and relate to me that I wasnt shortlisted the first time bcos I didnt look like I would stay on with the supposedly boring job and that the lady felt I'm more apt for sales position. Come on! I would have know better and go immerse myself with sales application instead of trying out for this than right? Obviously I would know what I want and would be commited to stick on with the 'boring' job. How could they just presume and its not even a correct presumption at that!

I turn up hopping I could change her mind, only to discover another lady was interviewing me and the interview wasnt good. It was superficial, nothing much was asked about me and it felt like she was just going through for the sake of it. I was in and out in about 10mins.

Now you know why I feel terrible?

But then again my friends were real supportive and I'm so grateful for that, for them.

supportive fren: no worries la..take your time

me: if take somemore time I have to eat porridge liao la

supportive fren: porridge not bad wad...quite nice to eat leh

me: ...can you try harder to make pple feel better instead of describing the porridge

supportive fren: hehe..ok la it's that stupid company's loss..

and she even went further to check up my horoscope (gemini), cut and paste the entire chunk detailing how the year 2005 would be a good year for me.

I really appreciated that. Another bore with my whinning and lamenting into the phone about how ill-fated I am, how the sun refuse to shine for me no more..you know..making my problem sound bigger than it really is.

Below are more sporadic utterance from various friends:
fren 1: cheran, we go for holiday ok? I lend you the money first, no interest. You can pay me back when u find your job.

fren 2: you still have money in your bank not? If not can tell me..

fren 3: I pray for you ok?

They dont know how much I love them. It's not the money, Im definitely very good with my finance management. It's just that sometimes they really make me feel very loved...think I should go and cry abit..